When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dick very happy bro
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize