Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
