She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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