PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
