You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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