Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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