Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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