When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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