My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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