i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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