I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize