Ambien. No doubt about it.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
