DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
