I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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