If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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