just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
