We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
