god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
