i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
