I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
