tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
