Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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