lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just tell him i said nine months
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
