3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wish there were birth control emojis
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
