Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
