Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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