Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize