Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
