remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
