this beer tastes like vomit already
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
