He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
