Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
