I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
