hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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