I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
