somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
