At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
