he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
