Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
