She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You need Xanax blowdarts
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
