you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
