You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
