I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize