Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
