fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
