she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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