So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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