I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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