are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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