You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
