They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
