I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize