at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
