Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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