you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize