i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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