Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
should my penis look like a turkey
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
