New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
