Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize