I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
