dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
