It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
