We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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